Force a smile

Posted by Aiden Chan on April 26, 2010 in

I am in holiday now but I am not in the holiday mood…
Always stay at home alone…
No one talk with me makes me think too much…
The feeling come to me again…
I thought it wills not depth anymore during these 2 days…
But I am wrong…

The feel tight in the chest…
Maybe you feel nothing…
I hope I can just like you seem like nothing to you…
But I am not being used to it…

Thinking the same issue everyday…

Met my ji mui today…
She looks unhappy also…
Nothing can do for her just can say that cheep up my ji mui…
(I know I am the one in the same way also)
(I can’t cheer up but you should, gah you ^^)

Thinking much during these 2 days…
I am too over about it…
But I really care about it so much…

My emotional is conflict with my intellect…
Should or should not?
No one can answer me… (Because I also don’t know the answer)

I hope to return back to last time…
I am too optimistic and believe in my way again…
But I can’t do it because you already said that I am annoying…

Accept the truth is a hard mission…

Ab, I really have a lot things want talk to you…
But we are not in the right place and right time now… ish…
I can’t online always can’t chat with you…
(I dislike msn chat also)
(I prefer face to face)

I am not tough like past self…
Hope to scream it out now…
Hope to go somewhere to travel for relaxing…
But I do not have much money for it…

My handphone’screen gone again…
(Don’t ask me buy new one)
(I am also dying to buy new one but not much money to buy it.)

Announce at here…
Friends, if you want to find me please call me…
Please do not text me cause I can’t see it…
Thank you… ^^

Return back to what I had written before…

Wait a minute…
(Breathe deeply)

Thinking, thinking, I’m thinking…
Okay… won’t be a stupid anymore…
A fool may give a wise an counsel…

Opps… thank you to my ah di Eric…
Thank you for caring me and keep asking me on what happened to me…
I am nothing… (Who believe in that I’m fine? See what I had written =.=)
Haha…

I am okay for now…
Still can prop up this situation and the feeling… ^.^
You can don’t believe in me because there is a word “lie” inside…
But you can trust me… =P

I should make a decision for it…
I can’t just let myself being like this way…
My style is doing what I hope to do… =P

But I still want to write down my feeling right now…
Last but not least and it still in my mind…

It is still hurt in my heart…

It is nothing to you…