Sorry

Sorry

Posted by Aiden Chan on April 23, 2010 in Life 生活點滴, Orange's emotion,

Tomorrow I will go back to Ipoh in the early morning…
(Actually I can back early than that but I don’t want)

Today is the last day which I stay at Kampar…
I can’t always online after today…
Can online in Ipoh then okay…
Haha… already no reason for online always…

Tomorrow I need to go back my boring but lovely home…
Too much time for staying at Kampar alone makes me feel lonely…
I’m home sick again…

Hope to be alone for a while but I’m too over…
Haha…
Whatever… good to know…

There are many things inside my mind but I never release it out…
My listener is not around me right now…

I don’t blame on others…
I am just blaming myself …
I’ m too innocent…
This is what I should pay for my innocent…

I am stupid…
I am not tough like what you know about me…
I worry about myself will be influence others…
So that I carry everything include a lie…

I thought I can control my emotion…
Unexpectedly i had been control by my emotion…

Just know is not a good way…
You will never understand about it…
Again I really think that we are come from a different world…

Actually I had thought too much…
But my emotional is like this…
I had no place for me to release it out, please just ignore what I said…

I believe in what I believe…
But it makes me get hurt deeply…

Actually I know it already…
But just blame that unable to leave from it…

Please don’t get influence by me…
I know I have no influence to you…
Actually you can no need notice me…
I know I am annoying…
Sorry about it…

I am too indulging to my emotional…
And make everything out of my control…

You say you are honestly telling me…
Actually you do not know that honest is just like a knife…
It can hurt people deeply…

You ask what you should do…
Sorry for disturbing, please use the way you used to be to treat me…
Other thing you just ignore it and I will carry all of it…
This is what I should get…

I blame myself why my memory is good…
Still remember every detail about everything things…

Said the topic which should not discuss…
Silent is the answer you give to me…

I understand it…

All this is only just for the moment…
Maybe there is some changing in the future…
Nobody knows what will be happened in the future…

I just understand what is my feeling now…

I don’t blame anyone because it is my problem…

Sorry for annoying…

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Understand

Understand

Posted by Aiden Chan on April 21, 2010 in Life 生活點滴, Orange's emotion,

I had found out something recently…
It not a big duel but only a small problem…
But it makes me want to think more about it…

What mean understand?

If you ask someone about it they will answer…

“Understand? It is something which you know about a person like what he want to do about certain thing.”
“You will know what the person will do in which situation.”

Is this mean understand?
I’m interested on this issue recently…

How do you understand about a person?
Is it understood from your observation of this person?
Or the person tells you about what he/she is?

Does it mean that the person does not understand other well If the observation of a person is weak?

Human being likes to be this way…
When there are something happened to them…
They will say nothing…

When others do not pay attention or keep asking about it…
They will to be in sulk…

At the last they just hope others can guess about the problem and care about them…

But do you know what will the others think about it?
The others will think you are crazy and they are not the one who lives in your mind…
How does them know what are you thinking right now?

This is fact…
Many people don’t pay attention on it…

Do you think that before if you can guess what the problem of the person correctly…
The happiness of the person is more than he or she say…

Don’t simply perfunctory other…
You make hurt the person deeply but you don’t know…

Recently I just realize that I’m not easy to understand like what I think for…
Feel that I am complicated…
Actually I am as simple as it…
Haha…

I don’t want be emo…
But there are many factors make be turn into it…

I forgot about my own duty…
Cross to the boundary of my duty and it increase the burden of mine…

Just realize that actually you do not understand me well…
And feels that you and me are totally different…
I try to find out the similar between us but cant…

Last I only know that both of us come from different world…

Maybe all of these were just temporary…
Maybe it will change in the future when we talk again… =)
I feel like this way for now…

Understand a person well is not an easy mission…

Observation is one of the ways for understanding a person…

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Difference

Difference

Posted by Aiden Chan on January 23, 2010 in Life 生活點滴, Orange's emotion,

Today just as usually what I done…
Wake up in the early morning…
Go out for my lovely breakfast with my friends koh and jun hao…^^

Afterward we go cyber café play online game…
Haha… xD

At the same time…
I log in to my blog…
Not this blog but is another blog… WRETCH… ^^

That is my first blog in my life…
I go through all the article which I wrote last time…

After I go through all of the article…
I realize that I have been changed compare to past time…

I miss all the previous time so much…
I miss my attitude when I used to solve problem…

I am thinking about why I will be like right now…
What had made my mindset change?

Is it the environment change my mindset?
Is it the people who around me change my mindset?

Or the time had changed everything?

Time is passing forward…
And I just let it passing…
I am wasting my time…

I feel stranger to myself…
I am no longer the past selves…
I am not strong and brave now compare to previous time…

My friends told me that I have something that other people do not have…
Am I really own it?

I hate present self

Inactive…
Admit defeat…
Lazy…

Keep up appearance…

I am turning a blind eye to all the thing which surround me…

Refer to all the things which I wrote last time…
I can know that I am innocent at that time…

Reality changed everything…
It also created present self…

Am I being more mature or cowardly?

I don’t know what the answer is…

Now I just want to get back innocence…
And get back the courage to face all the problem I have right now…

I lost in a world of self…
I can’t find a way out…

Gossip is come to me…
Attack me and hurt me…
Limit my actions…

When I can able to leave all of it…
And get back myself…

I embark on another journey to find myself…

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Screw up

Screw up

Posted by Aiden Chan on January 22, 2010 in Life 生活點滴, Orange's emotion,

I am not in a good mood now…

Just wake up…

I am damn tired and also damn moody…

This is because of my exam…

I have screwed it up…

I can’t believe that I have screwed it up…

Actually the question is not hard to answer…

I can answer it…

But don’t know what I have done for it…

I don’t know what I had written…

I hate it so much…

I don’t want to re-sit anymore…

The performance of my exam is totally opposite with what I have usually done in class…

Oh my god…

I hate myself so much…

The question is not tough at all…

Why I still like that?

After exam go out have breakfast + lunch with my friends…

Then come back home and sleep until just now…

Now I am freaking moody…

I am not in mood goes out to have dinner…

Usually I won’t stay at home eat and meals are very important to me…

But now I decide to stay at home and ask my housemate help me buy food back…

I think I should close myself into house and do not meet anyone for a while…

Haiz…

Still have one more subject to go…

After it my sem break officially start…

Hope I won’t screw my last paper up like just now…

I hope so…

Today I cough until vomit blood… ==

Oh my god this is my first time cough like that…

Make me worry about my body is it gone old already…

Sweat… ==’’

After exam I should take care my body very well…

Haiz…

I just want to say…

I have screwed it up…

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Home-sick

Home-sick

Posted by Aiden Chan on January 20, 2010 in Life 生活點滴, Orange's emotion,

Today is another day of exam…

Well…

Is my first main subject…

Mass Media and the Society…

I do not have any feeling on it…

I do not feel I will fail or I will pass this paper…

Just feel nothing…

Finally I have watch Alvin and the chipmunks 2…

Quite funny…

And of cause it is so cute…^^

After watch it…

Something is come into my mind…

I am moody now…

Don’t why I will feel like that…

I just feel like do not want to do anything…

Suddenly change like that…

Is it because of my exam?

Am I not doing well in the exam?

I don’t think so…

I don’t think is my exam affecting me my mood…

After watching the movie…

I go out eat with koh, ab and Kelvin…

We go to the vegas…

It does not have give me a good impression at all…

So I think I won’t go there anymore…

I think only… haha… =P

I think that…

I am moody because of my family…

I already 9days do not back my lovely home…

I miss my home…

I really miss my mother…

Last few days I only dream about my mother and my sister’s son…

I am missing them so much right now…

Ya…

Some of the friends will say that only 9 days what…

For me it is long time for me…

I admit I am a big baby…

I can’t leave my home for long time…

Some people will ask me that…

If one day your mother is gone, what would you do?

I will answer you that…

I will sad and cry until no more tear shed…

I can’t imagine one day my mother leave me alone…

I will cry when thinking of this type of question…

I admit I am this type of people…

I am really really missing my mother now…

I am sick already and it makes me missing my mother more…

And I am also home-sick now…

I want to say…

I miss you so much…

My family is everything to me…

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Gossip

Gossip

Posted by Aiden Chan on January 16, 2010 in Life 生活點滴, Orange's emotion,

Firstly I want scream now…
Ar~~~~~~

This is because of my exam…
I have already sat for 2 exam paper…

Now I can focus on my re-sit paper and my main paper…

I feel freaking happy and relax during this few days…
Well…
Although exam makes me feels stress…

This is because I have done something which long time didn’t do…

Talk with friends…
This is not a normal chitchat…

I have been told my friends all my feeling…
Actually I am freaking happy and relax during the conversation…

I have already does not chat with friends like that since long time ago…
Firstly I want to say thank you to my friends…

Ab and Bar…^^


Thank you for being my listener…
And thank you for accompany to have my early breakfast in this sem… =P
(6.00am in the early morning, 2 hour more will have a drama class)

Haha…
I really long time didn’t chat overnight…
Feel like I am finding myself to back…
Haha…

Thank you my friends…^^

Besides that…

I want to tell my friends who find me recently and chat with me about your relationship…

Please don’t sad…
Everything will be fine…

I can’t make sure that will be a good ending in the future…
Because nobody know what will happened in the future…
But I can make sure that you will get well soon…
Remember do not do any stupid thing…

Believe yourself… I will support you…^^

And also thank you for let me be your listener…
Hehe…

Exam is still coming…
This few weeks I will feel freaking stress…

I hope nothing bad will be happened…

Now I just want to say…

Don’t think you are the one who I mention…
If you think that are you…
Mean that you are guilty…

Gossip will stop at the wise man…

Good luck my friends…^^

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Mood

Mood

Posted by Aiden Chan on January 12, 2010 in Life 生活點滴, Orange's emotion,

2 more days go…

My final exam will officially start…

I still not in mood to study now…

Since I back from Ipoh…

I have no mood to study…

Oh my god… how come I will like that?

Is it nothing can motivate me to study?

I am freaking worry about it…

Last time I won’t like that…

Am I really changing a lot?

I think so…

I am listening song now…

Always do nothing…

What the hell…

Today I want to say something…

Do not depend on other people…

Because it will make you feel tired…

Thank you to Klosen tells me that do not hate people…

It will make me feel toil…

Thank you to you…^^

I should start to study now…

Wish me please my friends…

Wish my mood come true now…

Hehe…

I hope my dream will come true…^^

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Limitations

Limitations

Posted by Aiden Chan on January 09, 2010 in Life 生活點滴, Orange's emotion,

Few more days to go my final exam will started…

Now I am do nothing at my hometown…

I havent start to do revision…

I still thinking when I should go back kampar…

Sunday or Monday…

Just now went to PC fair with my mother…

I meet my friends…

Haha…

Now I still thinking should I buy the hard disk or not…

Because it is expensive…

Does I really need it or I just want get one only?

Human being like to get anything…

thing them get maybe is useless to them…

but they still want to get it…

do not put yourself into a high places…

you will get a serious injury if you fall from there…

Well…

I also don’t know what am I writing now…

I also blur already…

I just want to say that…

You should know your limitations…

do not expect too much on what you get…

may be you are to be unqualified to get it...

get some better than get nothing...

thank for reading…

Have a nice day…^^

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