Dilemma 24092011

Posted by Aiden Chan on September 24, 2011 in

Again, I’m in trouble now…
Erm, it should consider as a dilemma rather than a trouble…
I’m in a dilemma now…

What I should do and which I should choose for?
What future I want and I need?
Am I trying to run away from the realistic world or I really want to do so?

What I really want and what the realistic can give to me?
I’m confusing about my future now…

The brain told me that I gonna start work after diploma…
I know it and yet I understand it well,
So I should not think too much about it…
I should listen to others and do not bear anyone else…

But yet the heart come and stopping me from it…
The heart told me about the feeling of to do something
But didn’t tell me the reason and what to do so…
And now I’m in dilemma…

Brain asks me to work but the heart stop me,
The feeling make me wanna run away from all of the stuffs…

I should not take action like this since I always told the others do not run away what had been in front of you…
God make a crack on me, it is my turn now…
But can I? Can I just brave enough to face it?
Can I prove the statement that made by myself?

I don’t know,

The first and ever feeling like “I really don’t know” in my life…
There are so many “I don’t know” in my previous life but yet I can found out the answer at last by myself…

I’m not daring to hear the word from her mouth…
It really hurt if I hear it and I gonna to end up everything and follow the rules of realistic…

Life is what you give and what you get…
I understand it so well,
That’s why I’m trying and trying to give whatever I can…
And hoping to get what I can get…
But yet life is still life, the realistic kill the hope…

What I’m trying to give doesn’t mean what I will get soon…

I’m not that clever like somebody else…
What the hell I’m still do so…

I’m not that rich like somebody else…
I have no right to choose the other ways…

All the facts are telling me the truth of life, so what the hell I’m still in dilemma?

The optimistic is still staying with me I know,
That’s why I’m still in dilemma, I still keeping the little hope…

But the realistic is killing me a little bit by bit…

The first and ever “I really don’t know” in my life, 

it killing me…

I hope to get ”I know what to do” back now…